Check 01
Is it minor?
Nobody was harmed, threatened, endangered, or deprived of something important.
Intake procedure · form MIB-01
File a Report
Prepare a harmless everyday incident for possible future documentation. This desk helps you decide whether the event belongs here and assemble the facts without sending personal information.
Public intake status
Preparation desk open
Submission collection inactive
No form response, email address, attachment, name, or incident detail is collected on this page. Use the worksheet below locally. Public submission will remain closed until the Bureau has a verified contact route, privacy notice, retention rule, consent language, and moderation process.
For entertainment only. Minor Incident Bureau is not an emergency or government service. For an emergency or a situation involving harm, contact the appropriate real-world service in your location.
Pre-filing test · four checks
Does the event belong here?
A report proceeds only when every answer is yes. A no answer means the incident should stay private or be routed to a real service.
Check 02
Is it yours to tell?
You experienced it yourself, or everyone identifiable has agreed to the joke.
Check 03
Can it be anonymous?
The case works without a surname, address, employer, account, medical detail, or private allegation.
Check 04
Is the tone kind?
The humor comes from excessive procedure, not from humiliating the subject.
Draft locally · do not submit
Five-field report worksheet
Write one sentence for each field. Specific, ordinary facts are funnier than inflated accusations or a long backstory.
Minor Incident Bureau
Draft worksheet · not transmitted
Incident
What harmless event happened? Use a direct action: “Opened fridge; no further action taken.”
Location
Use a general setting only: kitchen, desk, laundry room, commute, or group chat.
Measure
Add one concrete detail: three reheats, 47 minutes, two attempts, or 14.2 kilometres.
Status
Choose pending, unresolved, verified, case closed, under review, or no further action.
Resolution
Record the smallest plausible corrective action—or state that none was taken.
Completed example · case 003
What a useful draft looks like
The example is recognizable, measurable, anonymous, and low stakes. Nothing depends on private context.
Incident Coffee reheated three times
Location Desk area
Measure Three heating cycles; consumption not observed
Status Consumption pending
Resolution Cup retained for further monitoring
Future intake procedure
What will happen when intake opens
Submission will not mean automatic publication. Every file will pass a small, explicit editorial process.
Stage 01
Receive
Collect only the minimum fields stated in the live form and privacy notice.
Stage 02
Screen
Reject unsafe, sensitive, accusatory, identifying, or out-of-scope material.
Stage 03
Edit
Shorten the wording, remove unnecessary details, and preserve the submitted meaning.
Stage 04
Confirm
Use the permission terms shown at intake; no publication promise is implied.
Stage 05
File
Assign a case number only after acceptance, then retain or publish according to the stated policy.
While intake remains closed
Consult the existing records.
The Archive shows how finished filings read. The Guides explain how to write, personalize, share, and sustain the joke without turning a minor incident into a real problem.